props

Shouts out to my friend Christine who led me to the very cool (and free) playlist.com. Check it out. You can listen to my playlist, or make your own. Fun and free - what else can you ask for?

dropping off for camp

Sally is at summer camp this week. It's her first time going to camp. I miss her so much.

This is her and Sam by the bus, checking all the kids in. I tried to take more pictures, but she was so totally embarrassed by me that I stopped.

Joshua 1:9

Sometimes the mistakes are the cutest things. From Sam, singing at the top of his voice:

"Be strong and cre-aa- gous! Do not be terrified!"

Conversations with Sam

Me: "What did you have to drink at VBS today?"

Sam: "Water. They had juice, but I didn't drink it."

Me: "Why not?"

Sam: "It was orange juice, and I didn't know if it was free pulp or not."

birthday boy

Blue Blanket

The blue blanket is finally finished!

She's lovely.

Here's my favorite square - a nod to HP in Ravenclaw colors:

If anyone is interested, I have a list of all the yarns I used and all the needles sizes (a range from US3 to US 8). I kept all the squares to four inches, and I used only garter stitch in all of them.

open eyes

I've had a few of you wonder how I figured out that I've been sleeping with my eyes open. Well, one night I had been asleep for less than an hour when I woke up and my "good" eye felt very dry and irritated. I thought that was strange, then I realized that I closed it as I was waking up, which meant that it had been open. I haven't been back to the doctor since I've had this realization, but I have taken the following measures:

(1) I make sure all ceiling fans are off and that any other fan is not pointed toward my face
(2) I put on a good amount of goopy eye cream (muro 125 ointment) into both eyes, and make sure that it melts onto the surface of my eye and doesn't slide to the edge
(3) I wear an eye mask (the satin fabric kind) that I smear some vaseline onto the area that will be by my eye, and then I gently press that part against my eye so that it sort of sticks to my face

So far so good, but sadly I know that it could all change in one night. I usually wake up with the mask still on my face, but a few mornings I find it next to me on the pillow. I'm not sure what I do in the night. I did have one eye doctor tell me that I could tape my eyes shut with those eye patches, but he doesn't recommend it. I'm thinking of inventing some kind of night eye goggles, with a sensor so that when your eye opens, it sprays a light mist of eye drops into your eyes. Great idea, huh? But who would buy something like that? Probably only me, and then half of the time I'd take them off while I sleep. Maybe one of those sleeping chambers that fill with liquid like in that movie Daredevil. That would be really creepy, huh?

Blue Shrug

Let me start off by saying that I'm not normally a fan of the shrug. This pattern, however, charmed me by it's cleverness and by the fact that it is not cut high on the back, like most shrugs. I like the longer back. I joined a KAL on Ravelry, which helped me stay very motivated to finish. It was complicated enough to grab my attention, but easy enough to knit away while watching tv with my family. I started and finished this in exactly one month!

For the knitters:

Pattern: Textured Circle Shrug by Stefanie Japel (modified - left out the textured stripes pattern and added ribbing on the sleeves)

Yarn: Berroco Nostalgia in "Lilac"

Mommy Advice

At one of my very first outings as a new mommy, I learned the hard way to never run out of wipes. I was nursing my beautiful baby girl when I realized that there was a strange sour smell, and that it was coming from the baby girl. I checked out her hair and fingers and found nothing. I checked her shirt, but that was clean. I checked her neck - bingo. She had some nasty stuff in the neck folds. It was distugting. About the time I figured out a game plan, she had finished eating and was concentrating on the next activity: pooping. Great. New plan: change her diaper, then quickly swipe out the neck yuck and throw everything away at once. I got out the gianormous diaper bag, got everything ready to go, and opened up the wipes container to discover I had two left. Two. One for the neck, one for the other stuff. Not enough. Lucky for me, I was at a new moms group at the local hospital, and my friend - who's baby was five months older than mine - had a big supply of wipes and gave me a handful. I cleaned up the darling baby girl, thanked my friend, and went home to cram as many wipes as I could into that travel case. Then I took a quart-sized ziplock and filled it with wipes, and put that and a clean outfit and a clean diaper in a gallon-sized ziplock and put them into the trunk of my car. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that's about the time I started buying the case of wipes at Costco. Never run out of wipes.

Bonus: Wipes for Sensitive Skin
My daughter was prone to diaper rash, and when she had a bad rash, the baby wipes were very irritating to her skin. I finally figured out to do this: I would take the wipes and rinse them out over and over again until any smell was totally gone. Then I would rinse out the tub, and put in a little water and a little baby oil. Then I would put the rinsed wipes back in and let them soak in the baby oil mixture. This makes the wipes very wet - you have to squeeze out the extra water to use them - but it is much gentler on baby's skin. I know of some moms who would make their own wipes, but I tried that one time and it didn't do it for me.

Conversations With Sally

(talking about a man who volunteers at the school as a parking lot valet)

Sally: "He's about your age, right Mom?"

Me: "Ah, no. How old do you think he is?"

Sally: "Like, maybe in his 50's."

Me: "OK, so that's closer to Grandpa's age than my age. Besides, he's a grandpa too. His grandson is a student at your school."

Sally: "Well, that's not that far away from your age."

Me: "Um, yes it is."

Sally: "Only eleven years Mom."

Me: (muttering to myself) "Stupid smart children . . . "

the kids are back

The kids and I got back on Saturday, and it's been a whirlwind since. Sam celebrated his 6th birthday on Monday, and we all can't believe he's that old already. I'm trying to get some sort of a summer schedule going, but so far it's all hit and miss.

I took the above picture on a field trip to the San Juan Capistrano Mission in May. I went with Sally's class and it was a really fun day. I love these flowers.

Lots more to say, but no time left. (It's all hit or miss, remember? I tried to blog this morning, but that was a big "miss".) I have more pictures to share and a great conversation to write down. Come back in a few days! :)

Day Four

I finished the little sweater I've been working on for the past four weeks - it's way cute. Of course, today it is really hot - hottest day all week - so I'll have to wait for night to wear it. I am listening to a playlist, and The Eye Of The Tiger came on, and I missed the kids so much. I'm ready for them to come home. Still have lots of stuff that I wanted to get done - I have a few hours left! Tomorrow I'm off the fetch them.

Day Three

Today is my birthday. I started off with coffee with Stuart, and then just did little things around the house. I'm still awed by the quiet. My friend Beth and I went to a book store, then to a yarn store. The trip to the yarn store was waayyy crazy, as my nav thing didn't have the right place and led us astray. We drove up and down Bristol Street, through three cities, before we found the store. But it was lovely, and I bought some wool/silk yarn that is beautiful, so all worth it. Then we came back here and watched a movie together, talked and knit. Good times.

Thanks to everyone who called and sent me ecards and facebook greetings. You spoil me.

Tonight, a kid-free dinner with my husband.

We love Cousins Camp.

Day Two

Lovely. I made myself some plain scones for breakfast and had them with a second cup of coffee. Quiet and coffee and sewing blue squares together. I realized that our house would seem so much bigger if we didn't have kids. I took a shower without anyone coming in the bathroom to ask me a question. I went to the grocery store and didn't have to hurry for any reason whatsoever.

It's been delightful.

I have rented girl movies (The Women, Revolutionary Road, and he's just not that into you (ok, that last one I'll be watching with Stuart)) and I am just about to make a chocolate cake for our small group tonight (R, you are welcome).

Last night, Stuart and I went out to dinner and then came home and watched a horrible movie that I should be ashamed that I find so funny, but I'm not so I'll tell you: Tropic Thunder. Stuart got it for me for Christmas, but it is so profane that I won't watch it with the kids in the house. Finally, we got our chance. I laughed and laughed. When he kills the panda bear . . . and the agent playing wii and getting so upset about the tivo . . . . and Tom Cruise couldn't be funnier. But the best is Robert Downey Jr. I have always been a big fan, even through the bad years. He is just so funny in this, and I hear that Iron Man is going to be a trilogy (yippee!). Big fan. Only You - loved that movie! (huh, I think I have that one somewhere. . . . ) Heart & Souls - yes, saw it in the theater and I cried at the end. Chaplin - magic. And who doesn't love Soapdish? Seriously. Even loved him in Weird Science.

All right, I'm off to make a cake and fold laundry. It's not all fun and games this week.

Day One

Well kids, it's the first Monday of summer break. Today, I'll drive my kids out to meet my parents, and they will go home with Grandma and Grandpa for five days. Five days home, just me and the husband. What am I going to do with myself? Well, the list is long, and mostly boring (like "call a termite inspector" and "wait for the at&t guy") but there is one thing that I'm pretty jazzed about . . . .

I finished knitting blue squares. Now I'm getting ready to sew them all together.

I've been laying them out, looking at them, moving them around, looking some more, and I think I finally have them arranged to my satisfaction.

This is going to take awhile. That's a lot of ends to deal with.

I'm also almost done with a little sweater that I'm making for myself. It's slow at the end, but I'm on my last ball of yarn with this one, so I should finish this week. As my knitting luck would have it, that is probably right about the time that the California heat will kick into high gear, and I won't be able to wear it until September.

I'm off for a long car ride. I borrowed a Thursday Next book on cd for the ride back. Give me a drive-through Starbucks and I'll be a happy camper.

creepy

Thought I should update the blog about my eye status: the cornea in the "bad eye" is now all strong and smooth and good. Sadly, the "good eye" had some dry spots at my last checkup, so now I'm putting drops and goopy night medicine in both eyes. It seems to work, though, because I have had no more erosions since the second procedure. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!

But guess what? I think I might have figured out how I got this problem. I'm pretty sure - like 95% sure - that I have been sleeping with my eyes open. Can you even deal with how creepy that is??? Anyone have any ideas on how I can fix that???

Blue Squares

I am almost done knitting blue squares for the Big Blue Blanket.I have over 40 of them now.
I need 56, and then I can start sewing them together.
I love them.

Final Stretch

I'm in the last few weeks of school, and it's a blur. We are finishing up school, and I'm trying to keep up with all the projects, plan for summer, and oh yeah, apply for a job for next year. It's a fun busy, though. We had a super three-day weekend, filled with lots of stuff to do, but it was all fun and/or relaxing. We've been swimming, but it's still a bit cold for me. When you have to brace yourself and think, it will be ok once I'm used to the cold, well, it's just not as much fun as when you can't wait to jump in because you are so hot. I'm fighting playing this stupid bejeweled game on facebook that is strongly addicting. I'm knitting a little sweater that I am really happy with so far, and I'm almost done knitting the dozens of blue squares for the Blue Squares Blanket.

I'm really happy that Kris is our new American Idol - I think it will probably work to Adam's advantage to not be locked in to the AI contracts, and he'll be just fine once he gets an album out. (His strong suit will be his concerts, though - that would be a fun night)

Alright. I'm off to get ready for a frantic minimun day today. Sam is faking a tummy ache - he wants to stay home and play games. I told him, sick means no video games, and if he misses school he has to stay in his bed. In his room. With no tv. He pouted, then went and got dressed. Stinker.

summing up

~had a great mother's day - my parents were here to hang out with us

~Sally was baptized on mother's day - by Stuart! Most excellent

~got the flu on Wednesday morning at 5:45 am. Stayed in bed the entire day except to make a few phone calls to tell the world that I would not be showing up

~was well enough today to lie on the couch and watch tv (sad to see Danny go on AI, but still love Adam, so not too sad) (was able to watch the LOST season finale - LOVED IT!)

~ have a big headache and need to finish cleaning up after yesterday (the only thing that is really really clean is my toilet, since once I started throwing up, I cleaned it every time I used it. Every time. I even had a crazy feverish dream that I ripped out the toilet and put in a new one because I wanted it to be THAT clean . . . crazy)

~ need to lie down now - still recovering I guess

Happy Mother's Day!

To moms everywhere, and especially to the moms in my life ~ have a great day and I hope someone is hugging you today. Being a mother is the hardest and best thing I've ever done. One of the hardest things about being a mom is learning all the ways I took my own mom for granted. One of the best things is coming to the place where I know that and make amends for it. Mom, for all the things you did that I never saw, I'm sorry, and thank you. For yelling at me to make me a better person, thank you. For all the tears and prayers for me, thank you. I love you!

Welcome Baby B!

Now that the gift has been given, I can show off this beauty:

Another log cabin baby blanket, but this time I sketched out the design to get a spiral effect. And I did a crochet border in all three colors around the edge.

Wonderful cotton-ease yarn - you can machine wash and dry this stuff, which I think is pretty necessary for baby stuff. And I love these colors, too. Welcome to the world, Baby B! Your parents rock, so you're all set.

Knitting: Geometry

The big blue blanket is coming together, and I decided to make a geometric design for the middle. I sketched and designed this myself. Each part is knit onto the last part, using one color at a time. It was really fun to make. I can't wait to see how this blanket is going to look!

San Diego

The big people kissing statue.

(That's me and Sam. Sally wouldn't be in the picture. Waayyy too embarrassing.)

Family Pics

These pictures are from Easter Sunday.
(I love the sassy look on Sally's face here. It shows you what we have to look forward to in the next few years.)Easter Sunday was such a beautiful day, too.

Go Jack

I tried the Jack in the Box mini sirloin burgers this weekend. I like them better than the Burger King burger shots. I think I'm still disappointed that BK brought back the shots and not the bundles. The bundles were better.

Resident Poet

Sam loves to rhyme. He does a rhyme almost all of the time. (groan! sorry, i can never resist.) His favorite combo goes along the lines of: "can, man, flippy-bippy yan". He particularly likes words that aren't real words. Recently, I had the occasion to give him this sensible advice:

"Sam, don't rhyme with 'duck'."

And, because we're us, we thought that was super funny. Soon, the advice expanded to:

"Sam, don't rhyme with 'duck'. Rhyme with 'chicken' instead."

And then Sally came up with this: "Mom, 'frickin' rhymes with 'chicken'."

Oops.

Ok, so 'duck' is out, and 'chicken' is out. We thought we would be safe with 'bird', but no.

'Bird' rhymes with 'turd'.

(sigh) What's a mom to do?

dimly lit places

******************Spoiler alert!******************

The following post contains details from the latest

LOST and last week's HOUSE. Please stop reading

if you care about things like that.

************************************************

I finally watched an episode of House that had been sitting on the DVR for over a week. I've been going in and out of liking House lately. It's like watching the news - after a while, you need a break. Anyway, I had a free hour on Tuesday so I sat down and watched it. It was the one where Kutner dies. Where Kutner kills himself.

This is the third suicide this year. Third in three months. The first one I can't even talk about. The second one I probably could talk about, but I won't. It was a friend who used to be in my life, but who hasn't been in several years. There are things I could say, but I won't. I don't feel like I should. But the third - well, don't think that it did not occur to me that it shouldn't be in the same category because Kutner is fictional. Yes, I get that. Kutner is not real. But there lies the freedom to finally talk about suicide - there is no family to offend with a fictional person. There are no secrets that should be kept. There is nothing wrong with writing about a fictional character killing himself (other than the fact that it's weird that I'm so upset by it, but read on - you'll see).

This episode of House shook me up. Even now, two days later, I am having trouble putting down my feelings. So much so, in fact, that I have even considered that I should not write this. I thought about writing it on paper and shoving it under my bed. I thought about opening an anonymous blog and putting it up there. And then I decided not to. These are the musings of a mommy too - it's not all nice stories about what cute things the kids are saying and pictures of knitting. Maybe the reason there are so many suicides is that people think that they are alone with their bad feelings, that some people have a perfect life with a perfect marriage and nice kids and a comfortable house and that it's all good all the time. Well, that's a lie. Nobody has that. Everyone has days where the sadness and the bad thoughts and the need and the hunger are pushing past the door that you usually keep closed.

So I'm thinking all of this when I watch LOST last night, and Daniel is killed by his mother. Who writes this twisted crap? I mean, when Ben killed John Locke, that wasn't such a stretch - Ben is a monster. But to have Daniel killed by his mother? I was so shocked. And then again, another fictional character. To be so upset by things that aren't real. Then it hit me - maybe I'm not upset by things that are fictional, but that the fiction is so close to life. That there are things in real life that are sad and upsetting and hard to talk about, so we watch sad shows and read sad books and say we are saddened by them, but it's all just covering up the sad things that we don't want to talk about. I know I'd rather write about Daniel's mother than about my own failings as a mother. I'd rather write about how I felt watching House try to figure out why Kutner shot himself in the head than to write about my own thoughts and feelings about my friend who decided that he had enough of life.

What's the point? Do I have one? I know when I sat down and started typing I had a clear direction of where this was heading, and I have lost it. Maybe the point was to write it down. Nothing further than that. To write it down and get it out of my head and put it out there. Maybe someone will read this and know they are not alone. Maybe I'm just trying to not think about the fact that when I woke up this morning, my eye was stuck closed, and even though I think my cornea is ok, the thought that I may rip it again paralyzes me with fear and makes me so angry - so very angry - at the randomness of it all. I don't know anymore. I do know that I am out of time - it's time to go to school - so I need to wrap this up. Do I save it and finish later? Or do I publish now, with no nice ending, no silver lining, no assurances that this too will pass and tomorrow will be cute kid stories and finished knitting?

Publish now. It seems to fit.

Spring Break Recap

Today the kids are back at school. (Sam isn't yet, but he will be in about twenty minutes :) ) We had a busy and fun week together last week. Easter was nice and relaxing - we went to church, then had a few friends over for a big dinner. The kids and I cleaned out the garage a little bit and played at home together at the beginning of the week, and then on Thursday and Friday we went down to San Diego (we love it there) and took the kids to SeaWorld. We all went on the Atlantis ride (Sam is finally barely tall enough) and it was a blast. That was my highlight. We stayed at the DoubleTree Hotel, and while it's a nice hotel, we will never stay there again. The parking is ridiculous. It has to be the narrowest parking lot we have ever been in - I don't know how some of the cars made it through - seriously THAT narrow. Saturday morning Sally and I walked the 5K Get Fit Fun Run at a nearby park - she pushed me pretty hard, too! I wanted to walk, and she wanted to jog. I'd jog for a block or two, then go back to walking. She'd jog ahead, then walk back to me. I told her next year she'd have to bring a running buddy, or I'll have to train more! :) Sunday she had a soccer game, and her team won! That's always fun. We went to a short ice cream party after the game, then came home and the kids swam for a little bit. It was a really hot day - the pool was over 70 degrees - still too cold for me though.

I've been doing some reading, some knitting, and some painting too (the kids and I painted an old cabinet with drawers and we are going to use it for craft stuff in the garage). But now I'm off to school.

sixty-eight degrees

About a week ago, we had a really hot weekend. It was well over ninety degrees and the kids were hot. "Can we swim? Please?"Sure, go right ahead. It looks lovely, but it's way cold. Sixty-eight degrees cold. Didn't slow them down at all. They jumped right in.

Crazies. Their lips were still slightly blue AFTER a warm bath/shower. They would say to tell you that it was totally worth it. (Don't you just love the blue color of the water in these pics? I cannot wait for summer!)

The Pink Sweater

The pink sweater is finally finished, and I do love it. I'm really glad that it fits. (I was worried there for awhile.) I changed the sleeves to be longer than the pattern calls for, and I'm very happy with how they turned out. If I had to do it over again, I'd make it 1-2 inches longer, but since I'll always wear a shirt under it, it's not really a big deal.(I'm still figuring out the best way to do these self-portraits. Another work in progress.)

For the knitters:
Pattern: Hey Teach! from knitty.com

Yarn: Cotton Ease from Lion Brand Yarn in Berry (4 skeins)

This was my first official lace project, and I even used the chart in the pattern (in the past, I have taken the chart and written out the stitch instructions in words) and it was actually pretty fun. And I think I did it without any mistakes at all! :)