The following is not a pretty story. Yesterday, when I brought some juice boxes in from the garage, a large bug fell out of the box. Yes, it was a cockroach. I HATE THEM! This one has been seen in our front bathroom, and I've seen it before in the garage, but I'm always so freaked out and busy screaming that I can't manage to squash it. So, it runs behind the TV, and I spend the better part of an hour pulling all the entertainment equipment away from the wall, slapping the floor with a stick to scare the thing, moving cords around, freaking out. To no luck. And I knew what would happen. And it did.
Later that night, I had some friends over to play a game. I knew the bug would come out when my friends were here. I was right. Stu and Will were here, too, when the thing crawls up the wall. I grabbed a floor cleaner, like a swiffer but with a bigger head, and slap it against this thing. It's not dead. So Will, my hero, grabs the swiffer and starts hitting it. He pins it down, and I move my stick and re-position it so it will catch the bug. Unfortunately, it is still alive. So I go loco on this thing, and whack it several times. Stuart sits in his chair, telling me to stop or I'll wake the kids up. I don't care anymore - this thing must DIE. So it's finally dead, and I catch it on my sweeper and carry it out to the trash. The dog looked at it, and backed away. It was that big. So disgusting.
And I know why the cockroaches reduce me to a screaming ninny. It is because of an unfortuante incident in Mexico, where a cockroach was on my shoulder in the bathroom in the middle of the night. I'm serious. It was horrible. And somewhere, as he reads this, my dad is laughing and soon he'll start into a few choruses of "La Coo-ca-ra-cha! La Coo-ca-ra-cha!" and do a little dance that involves brushing an invisible bug off of his shoulders. He thought it was a riot. My sister is probably laughing, too. Someday, I may even think it's funny.
10 comments:
So... no picture?
when i try to kill a spider it is always a sad and noisy affair, and ted always says, "good job, hon, you go ahead and scare it to death. maybe that smack wasn't loud enough, just try again..." [smart alec]
but a cockroach...
oewwww, yucky.
i would have loved to see will help you pummel it though.
who's the hero now, stu??? missed a golden opportunity there bud.
I would have died also! I hate roaches!!!! I cannot imagine what you went through in Mexico! I feel for you on that one!
J
It is called mentoring.
I would love to have seen Will trying to kill the cockroach with the swiffer. I told you guys already...WD40 and a lighter.
No picture. I love my blog too much to defile it with a photo. I'm trying to wipe the mental picture away!
Mentoring. Stu, you are just so funny.
My neighbor swears by little bowls of stale Coke. He says the roaches smell it, crawl in, drown, and you can flush them. Fortunately, I haven't needed to test his invention.
But it is nice and non-toxic, being that Samuel has not yet developed a discriminating palate.
-Jen
funny man, that husband of yours.
Okay, I'm totally with you on this one (the possum dilemma, not so much). But an insect should not take extreme effort to capture, crush, crack and kill. It's just WRONG!!! Creepy little buggers... blech!!!
As Emily would stand up at this point and make her declaration "I am allergic to cockroaches", which she does anytime someone mentions them. Then follows the quizzical looks - is it true, how does she know that? It was a blood test for allergies when she was so sick as an infant. I hate cockroaches and thankfully have never encountered them in anywhere we have lived, inside the house anyway. THe desert was full of them outdoors, even though Ben insistst they were beetles, not coakroaches. They are all big ugly bugs to me. Yuck.
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