GenMe

I am reading this book, Generation Me by Jean M. Twenge, and it is such an excellent book. If you are in your twenties or thirties, you should read this book. It is about the generation of people born in the 70's, 80's and 90's. This is especially interesting for me because I am at the beginning of the GenMe group, and my daughter is at the end. It is a "group of people who grew up in an era when focusing on yourself was not just tolerated but actively encouraged." This generations's sense of entitlement and narcissism ("overly focused on themselves and lacking empathy for others") has always bothered me, and the interesting thing about this book is that Dr. Twenge's research shows why these things should bother all of us. Consider the following quotes:

On the self-esteem movement (Everyone is special!):
"Self-esteem is an outcome, not a cause. In other words, it doesn't do much good to encourage a child to feel good about himself just to feel good; this doesn't mean anything. Children develop true self-esteem from behaving well and accomplishing things."

"Self-control predicts all of those things" (like doing well at school, staying off of drugs, becoming sexually active too young) "researchers has hoped self-esteem would, but hasn't." (In other words, the research shows that the "self-esteem" movement did not accomplish any of its goals, but a "self-control" movement would have been more successful.)

"Grade inflation has also reached record highs. In 2004, 48% of American college freshmen - almost half - reported earning an A average in high school, compared to only 18% in 1968, even though SAT scores decreased over this time period." (Yikes.)

On love and marriage and needing to love yourself FIRST:
"But the truth is that human beings do need other people to be happy - this is just the way we are built. Yet say this at a cocktail party, and someone will probably say yes, sure, but it's better not to need someone. That's co-dependent, the resident psychotherapy expert will say, and will repeat the modern aphorism 'You can't expect someone else to make you happy - you have to make yourself happy.' Actually, you can expect this: having a stable marriage is one of the most robust predictors of happiness. We gain self-esteem from our relationships with others, not from focusing on ourselves." (italix are the author's, not mine)

Sometimes, I feel very old-fashioned because I have traditional values and beliefs when it comes to marriage, parenting, common sense, and faith. This book is really explaining to me why GenMe (or my favorite label, iGen) thinks and acts in a way that is very self-destructive but it talked about as "fixing myself first". Dr. Twenge's research is not surprising, really, but seeing the numbers and finding out how very significant the changes have been over the past thirty years is astonishing.

I'll leave you with one last thought: The Baby Boomers wanted to change the world, and the GenMe's want to follow their dreams. Think about it. (And if you think they sound like the same thing, you are definately a member of GenMe.)